Mama,
Today I had a two hour shrinking with Craig. We're only meeting once this week and he said a lot of people are on vacation so he had extra time. He got kind of pissed at Aunt Elaine that we still don't have beds yet, and looked sad when I said I never really expected her to get us new ones. As soon as our bed broke, I thought "I'll be on the floor until I go away to college."
Craig said this is completely unacceptable. The only reason I agree it's unacceptable is that there are tons of free beds we could get off Craigslist, if Aunt Elaine would just help us with getting them here. I mean, I can call and stuff, but nobody's going to listen to a kid. If there wasn't the option of free beds, I wouldn't care much. But there is.
Ma, Alex thinks when we get new beds that means new sheets and blankets and she's really excited about it. I almost don't have the heart to tell her it's just physical beds. Every time the Bed, Bath & Beyond flier or Pottery Barn catalog comes she pours through it, looking for cool bedding. I asked Craig to tell her, but he said no.
We also talked about anger outlets and how since I quit track I don't really have one, and Craig tried to make me agree that walking around at night is not an acceptable thing to do. I sort of know that, but it's like the only time I get to be alone and not have people around me. He asked how I would feel if I heard Dani was walking around Coop City at night to try to make me feel guilty.
Craig suggested I look into yoga - he said it's supposed to be really peaceful and it's generally inexpensive. I don't know about that - I'm not really the crunchy, hippie-dippie type, you know? He also agreed with me that I need a vacation. Oh, and he also said he wanted me to know that he holds back on doing a lot of stuff for me, because it would cross the lines of doctor-patient relationship. I didn't really get what he meant, because he's done personal stuff, like the times we go get italian ices instead of talking in his office when it's hot out. He mentioned the beds, and finding yoga classes and stuff like that.
He is going to see if he can find me a person who does those things, because Aunt Elaine is supposed to and it's ridiculous to keep waiting for her to do them when she's made it totally clear she's not going to do anything more than keep a roof over our heads. Today was the first time I saw Craig get really angry.
Mama, it makes me feel good that somebody cares enough to get angry on my behalf, but I'm not holding my breath for anything to change any time soon. If we get beds before school ends in June I'll be surprised. I think I gave up.
I love you,
Sam
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