We had one week where half the people normally here were gone, and because I was working I was eating at the diner more than usual. Which should mean extra money for this week. So how is it that we ran out of food today? That just doesn't make sense.
I had Grape Nuts with a sliced banana for dinner. That finished the cereal. There are some little potatoes left for dinner tomorrow night but no meat or veggies or anything. There was a tomato yesterday but it's gone today.
There's some mozzarella cheese left. I finished the milk. I just don't understand how we ran out, especially since there should have been extra. Too bad fire family dinners aren't on Fridays.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hard Shrinking
Craig told me a while ago that we need to deal with my daddy issues (which is not what he calls it but what I call it because umm... I like to) so when we met today instead of tomorrow that's what we were talking about.
He thinks it's very wrong that Aunt Elaine talks to me the way she does. He is very upset that she calls me slutty all the time, and that Alex and Dani are around it. Craig says it's unhealthy to assume all men only want to do nice things to get laid, and Aunt Elaine's saying stuff like this for years and years to the three of us is seriously damaging.
Apparently it's unhealthy to live with somebody who thinks all boys are EVILLLLLL and that a girl can't be friends with a boy without it being a sex thing. I told Craig that Aunt Elaine is the one who's messed up and it's from watching too much tv. She watches Jerry Springer and Maury Povich every single day and I think all that takes its toll - and that's why she winds up thinking all girls are whores.
But we're really, really not.
He thinks it's very wrong that Aunt Elaine talks to me the way she does. He is very upset that she calls me slutty all the time, and that Alex and Dani are around it. Craig says it's unhealthy to assume all men only want to do nice things to get laid, and Aunt Elaine's saying stuff like this for years and years to the three of us is seriously damaging.
Apparently it's unhealthy to live with somebody who thinks all boys are EVILLLLLL and that a girl can't be friends with a boy without it being a sex thing. I told Craig that Aunt Elaine is the one who's messed up and it's from watching too much tv. She watches Jerry Springer and Maury Povich every single day and I think all that takes its toll - and that's why she winds up thinking all girls are whores.
But we're really, really not.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Oh, Alexandra!
So as I have said before, Alex's teacher is not the greatest, because she doesn't like Al She picks on her. Other kids can have huge holes in their jeans, but if Alex has a thread hanging from a hem her teacher will comment. Other kids get called by whatever nicknames they want, but Al always gets called Alexandra. If Al's ponytail is messy after recess she'll point it out. If 14 kids are talking and Alex is one of them, she'll be the one to get detention.
Alex came home yesterday with a note requesting a parent conference. She gave it to me, I told her to give it to Aunt Elaine, who told her to give it back to me. I got Aunt Elaine to sign a note to the teacher asking her to talk to me instead and sent Alex to school with that.
She came home saying her teacher didn't like that, and wants to have a meeting with whoever is in charge of Alex's schoolwork. "Tell her to talk to you then - you're in charge of your schoolwork," I told Alex. She didn't like that - it's not what the teacher meant.
I know that. This means that tomorrow I get to rush from my school to Al's to talk to her stupid teacher who I'm sure will hate me on sight. And she'll probably call me Samantha. Joy.
Alex came home yesterday with a note requesting a parent conference. She gave it to me, I told her to give it to Aunt Elaine, who told her to give it back to me. I got Aunt Elaine to sign a note to the teacher asking her to talk to me instead and sent Alex to school with that.
She came home saying her teacher didn't like that, and wants to have a meeting with whoever is in charge of Alex's schoolwork. "Tell her to talk to you then - you're in charge of your schoolwork," I told Alex. She didn't like that - it's not what the teacher meant.
I know that. This means that tomorrow I get to rush from my school to Al's to talk to her stupid teacher who I'm sure will hate me on sight. And she'll probably call me Samantha. Joy.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Overheard In the Living Room
Aunt Elaine: When do you find out about your school for next year?
Danielle: Within a few weeks.
Aunt Elaine: What happens if you don't get in?
Danielle: Then I guess I'll just become the whore you already think I am.
Danielle: Within a few weeks.
Aunt Elaine: What happens if you don't get in?
Danielle: Then I guess I'll just become the whore you already think I am.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Communicate This
Dani needs a cell phone. We spend too much time not at home and too much time apart, for her to not have one. Okay and plus I'm tired of all her friends calling me, for her. Dani's friend Kimani called yesterday morning, to ask if she wanted to go hang out in Chinatown and Little Italy for the day. I was at work, but in between people called Dani at Craig's house to tell her. Craig wasn't working yesterday, so he said she didn't need to mother's help.
Alex didn't want to be left out, and I said she could hang out with me. I was working until 12:30 and then meeting my friends in the city anyway. Alex is kind of cool to hang out with - she's old enough that she doesn't actually need anything from us other than to not be left behind, and young enough that she will do whatever we tell her, because she's so happy to be included at all. She's kind of like a short personal assistant.
The four of us (me, Al, & my two friends, these Russian sisters who do things like get shit-faced and then walk through glass doors and that's not even the biggest thing that happens to them on a Wednesday night) wandered around the Village all afternoon. We met Danielle and Kimani and headed home. Kimani bought Dani a slice of pizza for dinner but Alex hadn't eaten yet, and was sitting on the subway like a ragdoll, all slumped over with no energy. Her eyes were half closed, and when I walked past her to sit down I told her not to fall asleep, or we'd leave her on the train.
Danielle and I were sitting next to each other and Alex was by herself - we could kick her, but she wasn't right next to us, and there were empty seats next to her. An old drunk-ass guy with a beard and a cane was across from Alex, reeking of booze. It was dark, but he had dark sunglasses on anyway. Some drunk-ass guy was talking to him, and at first I thought they were friends, but I don't think they were.
The second drunk-ass guy sat down near Alex - leaving a seat between them. He said something to her I couldn't hear, and she shook her head no. He leaned over towards her, putting his elbow on the seat between them, and said something to her again. She scooted over in her seat away from him, and that's when I started paying attention.
Drunk-ass made a fist, and put it on Alex's leg, and she moved again, and was now half off her seat. Just as I said, "Dude, don't touch her," ZZ Top said, "Hey, leave the kid alone." Drunk-ass looked up at ZZ Top and moved his hand off Alex, and started yelling at her, me, and all of us.
I felt Danielle touching my pocket and when I looked down she had my phone, and already put in 911, with her finger over the Talk button. Drunk-ass gave me the finger, and yelled, "What are you gonna do, bitch? Fuck you!" I glared back at him and grabbed Alex's jacket and pulled her onto my lap.
ZZ Top stood up and held the pole, and then I saw his hand was over the emergency button.
At the next stop, Drunk-ass gave us all a big "FUCK YOU" and stumbled onto the platform. He stood by the side of the train and was yelling at it when we pulled away. I shoved Alex back onto her seat, and ZZ Top motioned to me to come over. When I went to sit next to him to hear him better, he shook my hand and told me not to worry about the other guy, that he was a Vietnam Veteran. Then he kept drunkenly yammering on about how what the other guy did was wrong but Alex is a pretty girl and she should do what she wants in life and fly like an angel despite whatever our mother tells her to do, and how she has pretty hair and his grandmother had long hair down to her ankles and she'd pin it up in a knot and he went on and on.
Look, I read all about Agent Orange. I don't care if you saved a million people in the 60's - that doesn't mean you get to scare girls on trains a few decades later. You just don't.
Alex didn't want to be left out, and I said she could hang out with me. I was working until 12:30 and then meeting my friends in the city anyway. Alex is kind of cool to hang out with - she's old enough that she doesn't actually need anything from us other than to not be left behind, and young enough that she will do whatever we tell her, because she's so happy to be included at all. She's kind of like a short personal assistant.
The four of us (me, Al, & my two friends, these Russian sisters who do things like get shit-faced and then walk through glass doors and that's not even the biggest thing that happens to them on a Wednesday night) wandered around the Village all afternoon. We met Danielle and Kimani and headed home. Kimani bought Dani a slice of pizza for dinner but Alex hadn't eaten yet, and was sitting on the subway like a ragdoll, all slumped over with no energy. Her eyes were half closed, and when I walked past her to sit down I told her not to fall asleep, or we'd leave her on the train.
Danielle and I were sitting next to each other and Alex was by herself - we could kick her, but she wasn't right next to us, and there were empty seats next to her. An old drunk-ass guy with a beard and a cane was across from Alex, reeking of booze. It was dark, but he had dark sunglasses on anyway. Some drunk-ass guy was talking to him, and at first I thought they were friends, but I don't think they were.
The second drunk-ass guy sat down near Alex - leaving a seat between them. He said something to her I couldn't hear, and she shook her head no. He leaned over towards her, putting his elbow on the seat between them, and said something to her again. She scooted over in her seat away from him, and that's when I started paying attention.
Drunk-ass made a fist, and put it on Alex's leg, and she moved again, and was now half off her seat. Just as I said, "Dude, don't touch her," ZZ Top said, "Hey, leave the kid alone." Drunk-ass looked up at ZZ Top and moved his hand off Alex, and started yelling at her, me, and all of us.
I felt Danielle touching my pocket and when I looked down she had my phone, and already put in 911, with her finger over the Talk button. Drunk-ass gave me the finger, and yelled, "What are you gonna do, bitch? Fuck you!" I glared back at him and grabbed Alex's jacket and pulled her onto my lap.
ZZ Top stood up and held the pole, and then I saw his hand was over the emergency button.
At the next stop, Drunk-ass gave us all a big "FUCK YOU" and stumbled onto the platform. He stood by the side of the train and was yelling at it when we pulled away. I shoved Alex back onto her seat, and ZZ Top motioned to me to come over. When I went to sit next to him to hear him better, he shook my hand and told me not to worry about the other guy, that he was a Vietnam Veteran. Then he kept drunkenly yammering on about how what the other guy did was wrong but Alex is a pretty girl and she should do what she wants in life and fly like an angel despite whatever our mother tells her to do, and how she has pretty hair and his grandmother had long hair down to her ankles and she'd pin it up in a knot and he went on and on.
Look, I read all about Agent Orange. I don't care if you saved a million people in the 60's - that doesn't mean you get to scare girls on trains a few decades later. You just don't.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Only Child
If I'd been an only child I think I could have been absorbed into another family instead of being seen as this huge problem requiring a fat smoker to watch over and scream at me.
Sisters ruin everything. They probably feel that way about me though.
Danielle and Alex are at Craig's for what feels like a really long time, even though they're only a train ride away. Al won't have to sleep alone which made it easier this time. While she is gone I am cleaning out her magazines and old stuff she's storing.
Alex will cry when she gets home but she almost never looks at them after the first time and we are one dropped match away from burning to death among pictures of clothes we'll never be able to afford. So I kind of have no sympathy.
But I'm kind of looking through every single one before I throw it out, because it's fun, and what if I did have a really cute plaid bikini from Banana Republic, complete with matching jewelry and a coverup fancier than the t-shirt I usually wear to bed?
Sisters ruin everything. They probably feel that way about me though.
Danielle and Alex are at Craig's for what feels like a really long time, even though they're only a train ride away. Al won't have to sleep alone which made it easier this time. While she is gone I am cleaning out her magazines and old stuff she's storing.
Alex will cry when she gets home but she almost never looks at them after the first time and we are one dropped match away from burning to death among pictures of clothes we'll never be able to afford. So I kind of have no sympathy.
But I'm kind of looking through every single one before I throw it out, because it's fun, and what if I did have a really cute plaid bikini from Banana Republic, complete with matching jewelry and a coverup fancier than the t-shirt I usually wear to bed?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Love and Hearts and Shit
When I turned on my phone after school I had a message from Josh. "This is what I want to do today. Meet up with you, go give your sisters their presents, go play basketball, shower, make you dinner and hang out, do presents with you, and that's it. Let me know."
I got a ton of homework today so this worked out perfectly for me - I could bang out a lot of lab notes and math during boy-bonding basketball and then not worry so much about the other stuff. Alex loves her new fingerless gloves - and the skull patches look pretty good sewn on the backs. Josh got Dani a fancy ponytail holder from JCrew. And he got all of us these chocolate dipped strawberries from Godiva - even one for Aunt Elaine. We never had that before - they were really good. There's one left over and Danielle said really loudly she was putting it in the refrigerator for me, but I'm sure Aunt Elaine will eat it while I'm not home. Whatever.
Josh gave me a bracelet from JCrew - it's so nice I kind of got a little choked up. It's not thaaaaat nice, but what's moving is that I saw this in the mall way before Christmas and liked it and Josh secretly got it and I am just touched. He makes me feel so cared about. It's this enamel bangle that has blocks of different colors and it's like ... real grown-up jewelry. Not some bullshit bracelet from Claire's or something. I love it. I want to marry it.
Now I am at Josh's taking a break from chemistry to blog while he showers from basketball. Last night I baked him cookies. Some in the shape of hearts, some in letter shapes that spell LOVE. Very corny, I know. I printed out vintage valentines day cards that I found online on tissue paper and wrapped the box of cookies with that paper and string. Lame. But Josh's whole face lit up and he said he was really touched and loved them and ate two right away. Also, I gave him a magnet from Spencer's that says, "Go fork yourself" which sounds odd now that I'm writing it out, but it's an inside joke that's funny to us, so it works.
Presents rule. Love rules. Screw people who say Valentine's Day is just so greedy business will get money and people should show their love every day and not just when arbitrary marketing people say they should. Josh does show his love all the time. But it's still nice to know a present is coming your way in mid-February.
Josh gave me a bracelet from JCrew - it's so nice I kind of got a little choked up. It's not thaaaaat nice, but what's moving is that I saw this in the mall way before Christmas and liked it and Josh secretly got it and I am just touched. He makes me feel so cared about. It's this enamel bangle that has blocks of different colors and it's like ... real grown-up jewelry. Not some bullshit bracelet from Claire's or something. I love it. I want to marry it.
Now I am at Josh's taking a break from chemistry to blog while he showers from basketball. Last night I baked him cookies. Some in the shape of hearts, some in letter shapes that spell LOVE. Very corny, I know. I printed out vintage valentines day cards that I found online on tissue paper and wrapped the box of cookies with that paper and string. Lame. But Josh's whole face lit up and he said he was really touched and loved them and ate two right away. Also, I gave him a magnet from Spencer's that says, "Go fork yourself" which sounds odd now that I'm writing it out, but it's an inside joke that's funny to us, so it works.
Presents rule. Love rules. Screw people who say Valentine's Day is just so greedy business will get money and people should show their love every day and not just when arbitrary marketing people say they should. Josh does show his love all the time. But it's still nice to know a present is coming your way in mid-February.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Cursing the Crimson Wave
I know there's a birth control pill that makes it very regular and another one that makes it only four times a year.
But is there one that makes it stop once it's started? That's what I need.
Timing sucks.
But is there one that makes it stop once it's started? That's what I need.
Timing sucks.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Some Stuff
- Alex and Danielle are going to mother's help for President's week together. They are getting $50 each.
- I have been really, really good about saving money from work. Each week I take $20 and give $5 each to my sisters and keep $10 for myself and have been saving the rest. Old Navy is having a huge 40% off sale on kid's clothes so yesterday we went. Now all three of us have matching candy cane striped pajama bottoms! We haven't matched in so long. It's retarded but totally fun. Alex got a bathing suit for the summer and Danielle found a sweater for $9, and we got a slew of other stuff. Oh, non-jeans that are pants. Dani got like four pairs, and I got three. Alex got a bunch of short sleeve shirts that are a little big on her, but will last way past this summer (and she can layer for the rest of winter). I spent like $60 all together. It was a lot of fun.
- Still looking for a good present for Josh.
- We have this social studies project and we got paired up into groups of threes. My group is me, this white girl Kym, and an indian girl, Sonia. Kym is doing NONE of the work. I went to Sonia's house this morning so we could finish, and it's the fourth time we've gotten together. Kym hasn't done ANYTHING. So we talked about it, me and Sonia, and we didn't type Kym's name on our paper, or the oaktag, and if our teacher asks, we're just going to show her our e-mails where we asked when she was available, and the ones saying when and where we were meeting, and tell her Kym never showed and never contributed at ALL. And this counts for like a quarter of our final grade.
- When I was leaving Sonia's house her mom made me wait and she sent me home with a huge bag full of food. I told my sisters we have to be really careful to put aside all the containers to give back - I'm scared we'll mix them in with our dishes and accidentally keep them.
Monday, February 4, 2008
If I Were Fucking Matt Damon
I'd totally make a song about it, and totally dump Josh for him too. Sorry Josh. Love you.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Nothing
My throat is hurting a lot again. Maybe I need it surgically removed or something. Have not felt like writing lately. Craig asked me the other day if I'm still writing and I thought about lying but told him not really. He said he thought not, that I give off an energy that's different.
Alex was watching tv with Aunt Elaine and on their Lifetime movie a girl got in to Harvard. Alex said to her, "When we go away to college what's going to happen to you?" Aunt Elaine told her she'll be all alone and die.
Toby called me yesterday, but I'm finished having my crush on him and didn't answer or call back. And it's not just because Josh called from a kid's clothing store to say he found pink fingerless gloves and did I want him to get them for Alex even though they don't have skulls on the backs of the hands. I said yes. Josh is going to give them to her for Valentine's Day, since it's so soon. But. We have like two weeks, so I'm going to see if I can find two skull patches that are exactly the same and then sew them on really tight myself.
Now I need to come up with something amazing for Josh. I suck at buying people presents. Dani said she knows what he's giving me and I'm going to love it, but I have no idea what that means. I haven't said I want anything lately.
Alex was watching tv with Aunt Elaine and on their Lifetime movie a girl got in to Harvard. Alex said to her, "When we go away to college what's going to happen to you?" Aunt Elaine told her she'll be all alone and die.
Toby called me yesterday, but I'm finished having my crush on him and didn't answer or call back. And it's not just because Josh called from a kid's clothing store to say he found pink fingerless gloves and did I want him to get them for Alex even though they don't have skulls on the backs of the hands. I said yes. Josh is going to give them to her for Valentine's Day, since it's so soon. But. We have like two weeks, so I'm going to see if I can find two skull patches that are exactly the same and then sew them on really tight myself.
Now I need to come up with something amazing for Josh. I suck at buying people presents. Dani said she knows what he's giving me and I'm going to love it, but I have no idea what that means. I haven't said I want anything lately.
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