Survey This

Alex doesn't really remember what she's missing. She will sometimes smell something and say it reminds her, but mostly I think she remembers me and Danielle telling mommy stories, not the actual times when those stories became memories for us. I decided it hurts me more, because I remember how it used to be, how good it was, how far we've fallen. As far as Alex is concerned, this way is the only way. She has a very hard time sleeping in a room by herself, because she's never done it.

Dani remembers because she was like my little puppy. She followed me everywhere, to the point that I tripped over her sometimes. She knew to keep her mouth shut and eyes open, wasn't annoying, and so I didn't mind her always being there. Danielle is the person you want around when you've lost your keys, because she is always so observant. Danielle can't always think of the memories I can but if I remind her she usually remembers. Like when I made soup and used all four burners on the stove because we don't have a stock pot and I had to use four little pots instead.

Dani wandered into the kitchen, looked at the stove and said, "Didn't Mama do this once?" She did. We had a leak once in Brooklyn and Mama put the stock pot on the floor to catch the leak while we waited for the plumber. But Topher was sick and she wanted to make soup for him so she used smaller pots and all four burners.

Alex had a birthday party (for a sixth grader) at Chelsea Piers yesterday so we went into the city. Afterwards, we were waiting for the bus and a little girl came up to us. She looked around seven and had silver nailpolish that was chipped. She told Alex she was doing a survey and could she ask a question. I hate this shit - I don't want to talk to random strangers on the street, even if they're wearing stupid Hannah Montana sneakers. But Alex is all open and friendly and thinks everyone is a potential friend, so she said yes.

"Who do you love more, your mommy or your daddy?"

Are you fucking kidding me? But Alex didn't get angry. "I don't have a dad and my mom died a long time ago." The girl looked at her chart. "You have to pick one of them. Or I have a spot for both if you love them equally."

"You're not from here, are you?" I asked her. She shook her head. Told me she lives outside Philly and is on vacation. "Yeah, so don't they have any gay or lesbian parents in Philly? What about the kids who have two moms or two dads?"

The girl looked at her chart again. Then turned to her mother who was waiting (outside, in the freezing cold) like across the sidewalk. The mother comes over smiling, with her face all open. You can tell this mother will make the girl write about how she did something different on a vacation by taking a survey in New York City.

The girl told on me to her mother. "She said we don't have a spot for gay moms and dads." The mother blinked a lot at her daughter. Alex defended me by telling on the girl. "She doesn't have a spot for people who don't have parents."

I pulled Alex's jacket. "I think she's having a seizure because we overloaded them on their special city experience." The mother finally got her blinking under control and took her daughter's hand. "Well, good luck with that!" she told us. They turned to walk away.

"We don't need luck," Alex responded. She waved her hand around. "We have ... US." The mother was still dragging the Hannah Montana girl away while she complained that she'd already counted Alex and now her survey would be messed up.

When we got home Alex was excited for Dani to get back from work to tell her what had happened. Danielle pointed out the girl's survey was terrible, that she left out kids who only lived with one parent, or kids who lived with another relative. Some people are so closed minded and stupid.