We had fire family dinner tonight, with a family no longer in the fire department. I guess the husband was doing that while he was going through college. He quit years ago, as soon as he graduated, and now does something that earns more money. When we were little he used to flip us upside down. He is really nice, and I like him a lot. His wife, not so much. She is very braggy, but kind of brags about things that ... don't really impress me. Maybe that's rude to say. In addition to her things not impressing me, it's also like a gut reaction to not be impressed when someone wants me to be. Maybe I have issues.
Today Alex went to the library to do research for a paper that's due soon, and I picked her up from there on the way to dinner. When we got to our fire family's house and Alex started to put down her messenger bag in the hall, the wife semi-complimented her saying, "Oh well that's a cute bag. I just got a new Coach, do you want to see what a real bag looks like?" Al shot me a look before nodding and walking off with her to see it, but I felt like she'd just slapped my sister in the face.
When it was time for dinner and we walked into the kitchen, she pointed out a waffle-maker and asked if we knew what it was, then said, "I'm sure you girls don't eat waffles on Sundays. What do you have?" So Danielle explained how she brings home day-old bagels from work and she made a scrunched up face, shaking her head, insisting she would never eat anything that's a day old. I couldn't resist asking if this meant she throws out leftovers. She does.
The entire three hours went on this way, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. When we got home I told Josh about it, and he nodded and branded them "new money." My sister asked what that meant and Josh explained it's people who earned their money recently rather than passing it down from generation to generation. He told us they are well known for being tacky and classless and thinking money equals class. This sounds exactly like what the fire-wife was doing. Josh also said new money people name drop and are social climbers. "Basically, they're like almost all the people on those Real Housewives shows."
Obviously if I became rich it would be new money. So since I don't want to become a type of person I hate, I don't want to be rich. Instead, I just want to be Not Poor.
Today Alex went to the library to do research for a paper that's due soon, and I picked her up from there on the way to dinner. When we got to our fire family's house and Alex started to put down her messenger bag in the hall, the wife semi-complimented her saying, "Oh well that's a cute bag. I just got a new Coach, do you want to see what a real bag looks like?" Al shot me a look before nodding and walking off with her to see it, but I felt like she'd just slapped my sister in the face.
When it was time for dinner and we walked into the kitchen, she pointed out a waffle-maker and asked if we knew what it was, then said, "I'm sure you girls don't eat waffles on Sundays. What do you have?" So Danielle explained how she brings home day-old bagels from work and she made a scrunched up face, shaking her head, insisting she would never eat anything that's a day old. I couldn't resist asking if this meant she throws out leftovers. She does.
The entire three hours went on this way, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. When we got home I told Josh about it, and he nodded and branded them "new money." My sister asked what that meant and Josh explained it's people who earned their money recently rather than passing it down from generation to generation. He told us they are well known for being tacky and classless and thinking money equals class. This sounds exactly like what the fire-wife was doing. Josh also said new money people name drop and are social climbers. "Basically, they're like almost all the people on those Real Housewives shows."
Obviously if I became rich it would be new money. So since I don't want to become a type of person I hate, I don't want to be rich. Instead, I just want to be Not Poor.
10 comments:
"Not Poor" sounds like an excellent goal. From what I read here, even if you became incredibly wealthy, you would never be like her. Blech. She sounds repulsive.
New Money, Old money, whatever. That woman is b*tch.
What Nina said.
I would be careful about using terms like "New Money". From my perspective (neither new nor old money, not much money in fact) using this term betrays an air of entitlement and pretentiousness which is as unflattering as the behavior of the person being dubbed "new money". (Sorry, Josh, I suspect you're a great guy, but it's no more rude to be pompous about new money than it is to be pompous about old money.)
Anyone is capable of being rude and presumptious about money. It's not caused by the money, it's caused by the person and their attitude.
Sam, I don't think you need to be worried about how you'll act if you have money. You don't seem to run the risk of being a jerk about it.
I second what CV said....there are plenty of people with "new money" who are *not* pretentious jerks and they don't flash around their money or look down on people without money. And there are plenty of people with old money who *are* pretentious jerks who do flash around their money and look down on those without money. New money or old money, unfortunately there are assholes aplenty.
I think aiming to be respectful and considerate to all people whether they have a coach bag, don't have a coach bag, or (gasp!) don't even give a rat's ass about coach bags, is the way to go!
I totally know what you mean. At my kid's private school, it's mostly the new money kids that partake in the conspicuous consumption and have all the latest and "greatest" stuff, like iphones for elementary aged kids. The old money people are way less in you face about things. While these are generalizations and not absolutes, i tend to agree with you. Totally.
Generalizations are dangerous. I agree with CV.
Oh please. How is Sam generalizing? She is simply blogging what her boyfriend explained in the privacy of their own home, where they are not required to be perfectly PC at all times. Obviously Sam knows not all people with new money behave this way - she didn't say anything about the husband.
Dangerous? Danger implies actual, real, harm. Sam did not generalize all people new to being wealthy as being obnoxious, and did nothing dangerous even if she had.
You alarmists are really what's dangerous. Not her, and not her boyfriend.
I second anonymous. Talk about a high moral ground...if youve read this blog from the start you should know what kidn of ppl Sam and her family (including Josh ;-)
Are all about. It is a generalization but too often correct that in all societies and all countries ppl who come into money often behave horribly. That women is a b*** and in no way should trat your sister or you as a second class citizen thats just plane rude! Ill keep my thoughts about the personality of comenters to myself but i think your doing a great job and i thoroughly enjoy your blog becouse your so candid in explaining your conversations and sharing your life with us. so thank you for that. I wish I could blog like you do...
Hmmm I was one of the anon posters (@ 12:12) and I just want to say that I (and I suspect none of the others who were cautioning against the use of terms like "new money") were trying to rail against Sam or anything like that. In fact, I think Same seems very lovely and bright and is building an incredible life for herself out of very challenging and difficult circumstances.
I think too often other commenters (just some, not all) seem to believe that if you are doing anything other than being a cheerleader in comments, you are being a jerk. As if there are only 2 polarized sides: cheerleader or jerk. But to many of us, comments are like a conversation -- and when we offer a different perspective on a situation (or in this case, on using the term "new money") it is meant in a friendly conversational way. Not as an attack.
Frankly, I like my friends to tell me when they take a different perspective on things. Yes, I hope they do it nicely and without attacking me. But *offering a different perspective* is not automatically mean you are attacking someone or calling them out.
I imagine that at this point, Sam, you are the only one who will read this. So I mostly post it for you. Don't make the mistake (as a few of the other commenters seem to do) of thinking that just because some of us may occasionally offer a different perspective from you (or disagree with a plan your have or anything like that), that they are attacking you. In my experience, it is VERY, VERY obvious when a person is being attacked on the internet! Any comments that can possible be read as though they have a neutral or friendly tone (even if they disagree with you) are probably intended to have a neutral or friendly tone!
~ Liz
Oh, and in case this isn't clear, this is written in a friendly tone ;-)
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