The little half Chinese / half Indian boy I tutor is getting harder and harder to work with because of his mom. Two people called to ask if I can tutor their kids and while there's no guarantee they'll be easier to work with, I am tempted to quit. Even though I really love that little boy because he's so sweet and cute, and even though I do not like to be a quitter.
One of the women who asked me to tutor said she will pay me $25 an hour instead of $20. I think she thought she could say that and I would magically make time for her, but I really need to keep time carved out for my homework, and that's what I would lose if I took on her kid without quitting the Asian-Indian boy.
This morning Josh's parents came for brunch and Laurie and I had a big talk about it with her. She told me it's totally normal to quit things at this stage in my life, and I should think about what I would gain by sticking with these people. Guess I'd gain knowing I didn't quit on them. Laurie pointed out that a person can be loyal to a fault. I think she was implying I am?
One of the women who asked me to tutor said she will pay me $25 an hour instead of $20. I think she thought she could say that and I would magically make time for her, but I really need to keep time carved out for my homework, and that's what I would lose if I took on her kid without quitting the Asian-Indian boy.
This morning Josh's parents came for brunch and Laurie and I had a big talk about it with her. She told me it's totally normal to quit things at this stage in my life, and I should think about what I would gain by sticking with these people. Guess I'd gain knowing I didn't quit on them. Laurie pointed out that a person can be loyal to a fault. I think she was implying I am?
7 comments:
does staying with something that doesnt serve you, result in you "quitting" on yourself. i used to be dogged about not being a quitter until i realized my rigidity around it cost me more than was in my best interests... it is okay to choose to leave situations sam... it doesnt mean you are a quitter
If the mother harangues you again like she did that last time that you described, tell her that she is right, that you agree you are not the right tutor for her needs. That is not exactly quitting. Say you will come one more week to give her time to find a replacement who is a better match. If she changes her tune the next week, you can decide to stay. Good for you for not letting money trump existing clients or homework time. You should totally be charging $25, at least.
I was in the city this weekend and found out from my friend who we were visiting that just for her kids to stay in the child-care room at her gym she's paying $30/hour! So I think upping your fees to $25/hour is still a bargain. It's also reasonable to get a raise from families you've been with for over a year.
Independent of your decision to continue with the family in question, I think you can increase your fee if you want.
I agree it's not quitting if you decide the situation is not in your best interest. I have no advice on what to do, but just wanted to chime in that quitting and deciding a situation isn't the right fit after careful consideration aren't the same.
I don't think Laurie was necessarily telling you that you were loyal to a fault, I think she was just pointing out that there is such a thing. And I agree with everyone else. You can tell the mother that this turned out not to be a good match, and you think it would be in her best interest as well as yours if you gave her a week to find someone else. Good luck. It's hard to make these kinds of changes. You are not a quitter, this is true.
And if you know anyone else who tutors, you can give their names to the mom and then move on. Sometimes you know when a job isn't quite the right fit, and it's ok to leave.
I don't think you count as a quitter if you drop a client for a good reason. That's just managing your work.
Being a quitter is when you stop doing something altogether because you don't want to put in the effort.
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