Friday, December 2, 2011

Turn it off

There's no step-by-step process of how to not quietly keep track of how much Josh spends on me. Sometimes I can almost feel okay if he pays for the big thing and I pay for something little to go with it. Like he pays for the movie tickets and I sneak the bottle of water in. Maybe that's not such a good example.

We went ice skating tonight, and every time, at some point Josh will ask if I want hot chocolate. I always tell him it's okay, I'll make some when we get home. Tonight I just said yes please. Josh did a double-take, but I pretended not to notice. He gave me a shit-eating grin as he handed me the cup. On our way home I asked why it made him smile that way.

"Because I'm making progress."

This is a goal of his? To get to pay for more stuff? I definitely do not understand boys.


Anonymous said...

He's making progress in getting you to take!!

Lisa @ Trapped In North Jersey said...

I'm sure you try hard not to take advantage or expect things of him, but from his point of view, its probably also difficult to have so much and yet not be able to share it with you.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Lisa. When you have so much and cannot share it with the person you love, it's a relief when you can share even just a little with that person. And, in this case, it's not the money he spent on the hot chocolate as much as it is the luxury of enjoying a hot beverage at an ideal time instead of waiting until you get home when it's less ideal (less romantic, less cold, etc).

I grew up fairly poor; now I have money. It's not being able to buy big, expensive things that makes me enjoy the money more, it's being able to indulge in small things that I couldn't when I was a kid.

Lil'Sis said...

I think his comment is more towards being able to take care of you some, you letting him do somethings for you since you're always doing for everyone else. Some call it a sign of love:)

Smiling for you both.

Alisha said...

I agree with everything said above. I also think that the type of relationship you have with him -- you're a long-term couple who basically runs a household together -- is the kind where you're not supposed to keep track of every single give-and-take. If he doesn't feel bad every time you plan and cook dinner then you shouldn't feel bad every time he buys you something small. You both invest in the relationship in different ways, with different types of resources, and you both take care of each other in the ways you're best suited to do so. As long as neither of you are feeling neglected (i.e. as long as you don't feel like he's throwing money at you instead of actual care/effort/attention)...why keep score?

Tam said...

Why are you "trying to keep track" ? In my home we say "what's mine is yours & what's yours is mine"'a all about love & respect for your partner & family.

The day to day "stuff" is just that..."stuff" & it's a renewable resource. :) i know it's hard to let go a little when you've had to be so accountable for every.little.thing!!! But try a little bit. Just try a the hot chocolate gift & then reflect on how wonderful a gift that Josh gave to you in that moment!

You're OK! Enjoy the holidays!