Wednesday, February 6, 2013

No really

Josh pretty much never yells at my sisters. Part of that is because he misses his own sister, likes how close we are, and would never want to do anything to mess with that. The other part is that overall, he's pretty easygoing. But the key to his easygoing-ness is that everything runs pretty smoothly and everyone is fairly easygoing.

All that to say he's really displeased with what's going on lately. We've gotten in little arguments obviously, but they always blew over quickly and a lot of it was teasing. Josh is very good at not taking sides and always listening and encouraging us to talk and work things out.

That is not working right now. Today Josh picked me up from my last tutoring thing and asked if we could go to a happy hour and talk. Of course I said yes, but I don't think he fully thought that out. I think Josh intended for us to go get a glass of wine and talk, but that's not what happened. What happened was that we wound up in a crowded bar full of single professionals, and when Josh went to get us drinks, a guy came over to hit on me. Once we got rid of him, it was still really loud for talking.

We talked on the way home instead. Josh thought that Alex and I were trying to work things out. He may be disappointed to find out it's not really happening. We're not really talking at all, except when we yell at each other. Josh is not happy with this. He explained that drama on the home-front makes him really uncomfortable.

My sisters have accused me of putting Josh before them. I don't want to be disloyal to anyone. If Josh and I broke up, I would be okay. I mean, royally devastated obviously, but okay. The whole way home Josh kept trying to tell me in different ways, that I need to fix it. No really, make up with them. No really, they'll be my sisters forever.

I didn't tell him, but it got annoying after a while. Why is it all on me to fix everything? Why isn't anyone else ever in charge of doing the hard stuff?


e said...

Could you all see someone together who could help mediate? It does seem like you need a neutral party to help your sisters listen and see your side of things. This would also take the burden off of you to fix things - it's about all of you hearing where the others are coming from and moving forward. Would your old shrink be able to volunteer for this, or recommend someone who could? There are people out there who do group therapy or mediation sessions like this - I'm sure Josh's mom would know of someone too.

Kizz said...

Yeah, I think an objective party is a great idea.

Anonymous said...

6:41 presents what might be a good solution. I don't see why your relationship with Josh has to be another (ultimately unappreciated) sacrifice you make.

Sara said...

You have to do the hard things because you've proven yourself capable of doing hard things. It's one of the sucky things about being a grownup.

Anonymous said...

Would it help if you had your sister's read your blog back when you were going through all the problems with your Aunt? A lot of the things you were all going through are right there in print. Maybe they would realize what all you were going through or it would jog their memory...

Anonymous said...


I think that you need to tell your sisters that you tried to do your best in taking care of them, and that you probably made some mistakes along the way. You should apologize for any mistakes that you made, and then ask them to forgive you. They should of course forgive you!

They also need to apologize for their mistakes and then you should forgive them.

I think that if you all apologize and forgive each other, then you can get past this and make things right.

Even though it's not fair, it's your job to end this fight and fix things.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:27 - this isn't a sitcom, where everyone apologizes and makes up in the span of 26 minutes. Obviously Sam has already tried to explain her reasons for things. And demanding an apology from a 15 year old is a surefire way to not get a genuine one.