Friday, March 29, 2013

Stand still

This week is spring break. I didn't go away. I don't smell like sunscreen. I am not wearing jeans shorts below my hip bones with a bikini top. Not because I wasn't invited, because I was. Twice. Because I felt like I needed to stay home. No concrete reason why. Just a feeling. I hate feelings. Feelings suck and are pale rather than tan.

My friend pointed out this is our last spring break. That after this year we'll probably have to work and be all serious and shit. That instead of having three months off for summer and one month off around Christmas, we'll be lucky to even get three weeks off all year.

Maybe that's what it was. If I am calm and non-busy enough to think about it, then I feel guilty for not being too busy to think. There's a little more than a month and a half left of school, then finals. Then being a grownup. Forever.

At some point Monday night, Josh's dad and I were talking and he told me, "You know that when you start your real job, you can't tutor anymore, right?" Ohhh. It kind of hadn't really occurred to me. I guess my real job will go up to dinnertime. Every day. Every. Single. Day. What if I have ADD and can't concentrate that long? What if I hate it?

Is this why people go to graduate school? So they can keep having spring breaks?


Nina said...

As a graduate student that hopes to spend the rest of her life in academia, I will say that yes, having spring breaks (and summer breaks and winter breaks) is definitely an upside. :) Then again, every vacation is more or less a working vacation.

Anonymous said...

Did you secure a job?!

You worked full days during your internship. You'll do fine. You just will need to allow yourself vacations every so often!

Lil'Sis said...

You'll do fine, and I get what his dad said, but my sister has been in the working world for 20+ years and tutored a lot during that time; she just started again since both her kids are in high school and driving, she has the time and the money is great.

Rebecca said...

You can tutor and have a real job too, but it may be a different tutoring job that accommodates your full time schedule. I love tutoring and have continued doing it since after grad school (I'm 32 now). Your writing is wonderful, keep up the great work!