Thursday, May 9, 2013

Hey know what's tons of fun?

Taking a break from studying from your final finals that if you fail you can't make up without a little thing called not graduating to go to your sister's therapy session where you are told all the reasons you suck.

Why do I suck? Let me count the ways.

I decided I was in charge. Some of us were barely out of diapers and others of us knew how to take the subway. But yes, it was wrong of me to take the lead, and I should have let the sister who pronounced it "Booklyn" when she was tired be in charge.

Let me save you some time. All the reasons I suck revolve around taking charge. I took charge of food (which you might be surprised to know totally sucks ass according to Alex), of clothing (which I admitted did not work out the best for Alex, being the youngest so getting the most handmedowns), and all the money (which I earned).

So in conclusion, I suck. Then, as if that wasn't 55 minutes of shittiness, on the way home I stopped in a Dunkin Donuts and got a box of munchkins. While we were waiting to get home I opened the box and took one out to eat. Alex smacked it out of my hand and made it fall on the ground. That bitch is so lucky I didn't throw her down onto the tracks. She should be grateful to only have a black eye. Hey maybe she'll have her shrink call to tell me all about how much I suck for punching a bitch. 


Anonymous said...

That Ungrateful Bitch! Ingrate!

I hope that makes you feel a little bit better towards Alex, because no matter how angry I am with my child, the moment I feel he is being slighted/threatened/looked at the wrong way, my anger gets directed towards the offender.

Abby said...

Wow. Yeah, she is lucky. For that, and so many other reasons.

I think you should try to get some time with the therapist without Alex there, to get some ideas on how to deal with her. I mean, besides punching her, which frankly would be my first inclination too.

Anonymous said...

so sorry you are having such a shitty time.

Anonymous said...

as unfair and crappy as this is, you have to rein in your temper and be careful. you are in a parental role (whether she wants you to be or not) and the odds aren't in your favor if someone reports that you've hit her.

if you know you've done the best you can (which i believe you have), don't give in to the guilt trip she is trying to lay on you. keep going to the therapist - hopefully you'll get some one-on-one time for just you. - shay

Anonymous said...

I agree with the previous poster. You cannot control what your sister does, but you can control what you do. You need to continue to work on controlling your temper.

Suzanne said...

Simple answer? She should be in charge of herself. Food, clothing, schooling, shelter.

She needs to get a grip.

Anonymous said...

No one deserves to be verbally abused (you) or physically abused (sister). Obviously, you're the adult so act like it & try to detach a bit from her. She's a child and doesn't understand what has happened in the past - she doesn't has the memory.

My sister is 10 years younger than I & we were raised by the same but totally different parents. We've had our fights because of totally different experiences within the same family.

Its really hard but my relationship with my sister is more important than the individual memories we have of our parents.

Hang in there & do something good for yourself, detach & chill with the boy & give little sister some space. She'll come back - love her. If you're gentle she'll be gentle.

Anonymous said... you suck. And her point is? I'm heang her complain complain complain, yet I'm not hearing what should be done (in her opinion). The fact is, the past is the past and there isn't anything that can be done to change it. My first inclination would be to find out what solutions she has about the future and to get over the past already. You were all CHILDREN for goodness sake. And if all she wants to do is complain, there's the door. See how she'd enjoy the state being in charge for a while.

Anonymous said...

You shouldn't have hit her.

WestCoastWannaBe said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry all of this is happening and that it hasn't blown over yet. I figured it was a passing phase. I know it's not "right" to have hit her, but I would have done the exact same thing. She appears to not understand boundaries. She is not respecting you as a caregiver/parent so perhaps it was time to get down to her level and be a sister. I have no idea what's right here and absolutely no advice to offer. I do know that this is the last thing any of you need or deserve. So many challenges in life. For what it's worth (not much, I know) I think of you often and wish the best possible karma/life path for you. I'm sorry you feel so alone sometimes. Especially when you need some unbiased advice and some unconditional love.

Mizasiwa said...

The problem with 'phases' is they last for fucking EVER!!! Sorry u lost control and hit her - I have unfortunately been in this position too... Its not pretty but when u lose it - its lost. I agree this therapist should be helping u to figure out what to do with you totally misguided and far too opinionated littlest sister!! She does need to get a grip and maybe part of that is making her Dani's responsibility... Its hard to think it but if she can't come up with useful suggestions on how to rectify her situation or thoughts etc then your just going to go round and round in circles!! I'm thinking of you daily and hoping this is resolved with a mutually beneficial ending!! <3