Wednesday, April 2, 2014

We need guest rules

Here's what happens when my sisters or I have a guest over:
1. They arrive with minimal stuff
2. They sleep over for a night, never more unless one of us are gone
3. They leave, and then there's no trace of them having been here

Here's what happens when Josh has a guest over:
1. His guest is rarely one person. In the current case, it's four people
2. They arrive with lots of stuff, which is immediately thrown all about
3. Josh swears I'm wrong, but I'm not - they look around and pick the person they'll be asking to do all sorts of things for them. Sometimes their asking is not an actual question, but more like voicing wistfulness. "You know what would be amazeballs? Some black tea with organic honey." 
4. They stay longer than I like. Every. Single. Time. Then I do the whisper-yell to Josh to get them out and he tells me it's just a day or three more, and then I get bitchy to the guests and they're like "What's her issue?" to Josh and we fight.
5. They make themselves at home in all the wrong ways and none of the right ways. You make yourself a messy snack in the kitchen an hour before dinner, don't clean up from it, pick at dinner, don't clean up from that, and then two hours later bitch about being hungry.
6. Josh would disagree with this, but even the nice things they do are done in a way that makes us feel bad. "You didn't have any flowers and it was really depressing here so I bought some." 
7. They don't follow the way we do things here. Take your fucking shoes off!

Needless to say Dani has been absent a lot lately and I've been a rude hostess by hanging out in my bed a lot claiming to be working.


Karen said...

Sounds like Josh's friends are used to having people pick up after them. Or they are completely insensitive to the feelings of others. Or both.

As they say, guests are like fish. After 3 days they stink.

This is Josh's problem and your problem is Josh.

On the other hand, we had a guest last week who was so incredibly awesome at cleaning up that I wanted him to stay much, much longer. He was my DH's guest and my DH was dumbfounded by the amount of housework his buddy wanted to do. I wanted to shout SEE? This is how you clean up after dinner. Boys. ugh.

Suzanne said...

I think that being bitchy isn't working, you might have to move on to another strategy. In a perfect world, Josh would let his guests know what was expected of them but I am thinking that he is not going to do it. It's up to you. You can do it pleasantly. Welcome to our home, guest. Here is where your things can go. This is where you sleep. This is where you put your dirty sheets. This is our kitchen, here is the dish soap. We have meals at this time and this time. You are welcome to cook, please clean up after yourself when you are done, we don't have a staff here.
We leave for work at this time and need to be in bed by that time.
Write it all out and leave it on the table so your guest cannot forget.
Sounds like his friends need some training!

Anonymous said...

That Josh's guests travel in packs, bring more than minimal stuff, and stay longer than only one night doesn't make them bad guests, just a different type of guest.

The other behaviors of theirs that you describe certainly range from inconsiderate to obnoxious, however, and do make them bad guests.

Guests should arrive knowing what the plan is.

Wasn't there a guest of Josh's a couple of years ago whom you considered to be a great guest?