Laurie is spending a lot of time at our place. None of us are home during the day, and of course her house is empty too, so I'm a little confused as to why she spends three days here. That confusion can be ignored.
What can't be ignored is all the furniture and decorations Laurie keeps bringing over. No shit, she brought over a table and two chairs, a huge planter, a huge Buddha, throw pillows ... It doesn't seem like she's redecorating. It seems like she's setting up camp. It doesn't seem like she's using the extra table at all. Josh doesn't understand it either.
Danielle suggested that maybe it was like an adult version of a security blanket, but then Josh said he'd never seen any of these things at his house or in storage. So we're trying to not trip over things, and I'm trying to not freak out that my food budget has doubled.
What can't be ignored is all the furniture and decorations Laurie keeps bringing over. No shit, she brought over a table and two chairs, a huge planter, a huge Buddha, throw pillows ... It doesn't seem like she's redecorating. It seems like she's setting up camp. It doesn't seem like she's using the extra table at all. Josh doesn't understand it either.
Danielle suggested that maybe it was like an adult version of a security blanket, but then Josh said he'd never seen any of these things at his house or in storage. So we're trying to not trip over things, and I'm trying to not freak out that my food budget has doubled.
6 comments:
Wow, so what does Josh's dad think about her staying there half the week?
Not sure if this is a security blanket thing or what...but someone should talk to her about what she's feeling/doing. With my friends/family that have had cancer, no one has really behaved this way that I have seen. I too would have thought she'd be more comfortable in her own bed, on her own couch. don't get it.
My first thought is are things okay between she and her husband - for her to be bringing so much over, how is he taking it? Is he supportive, dismissive, withdrawn...maybe something else is going on there and she just needs more support from her son and ya'll. I would definitely speak with her - if not you, Josh - someone needs to find out what's going on, because that is not normal. Keeping you all in my thoughts - I know it's not an easy time for anyone involved. :(
I'm guessing she thinks she's going to die and is pulling as close as she can toward Josh.
I'm thinking like Abby...she is pulling close to her child, and that may include you and your sisters. Your home probably feels like a home whereas upon reflection of life threatening illness, her home might seem cold and empty. Where is the sister sleeping? Is her home in NYC?
I think I would be a little pissed that my daughter, who had completely disowned me, only comes running over when death is a possibility. I am confused that Josh's Dad, who has always seemed thoughtful in your posts, is allowing this. Maybe you/Josh start with him and get his perspective.
As for the food bill, let Josh cover that. I'm sure at this point his Mom's health is his major concern and other stuff pales in comparison.
I've never had Cancer, but I've heard that laughter puts people more at ease in an uneasy situation and makes everyone feel better. Might explain her attraction to Netflix! Not sure how many comedians use less vulgar language, as vulgarity might make you guys uncomfortable to hear around Laurie, but usually comedy is just honesty wrapped in laughter and if I had Cancer I would like that better than people being stiff and formal and overly serious. Maybe there are cleaner language Jewish comedians on youtube??!!
Cancer, like the loss of a family member, has no road map. There is no normal. Normal doesn't live here anymore. Or at Laurie's or anywhere else in her world. Nobody gets to tell her how to "do" her cancer or her death. Is what she's doing weird? From out here, sure. From inside her? We'll never know. She's just trying to survive. Her survival skills aren't going to look like yours or mine or Josh's or anyone else's. It sucks to have to navigate that sort of uncertainty and you sound like you're doing it really well. Wishing you strength to keep that up!
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