More crazy college crap

I got into Queens on Saturday. So relieved I can't even tell you. The only thing is I am confused about when they notify people about scholarships. I double-checked and definitely didn't miss the deadline when I applied but am not sure when you find out.

Also, Danielle has decided she will put up with living with Josh and Alex has decided she will agree to whatever we want. We had a very awkward big talk with Josh's parents about next year and they said they will pay for the extra rent past what me and my sisters can pay. I said I didn't want to be unfair with Josh paying more rent than me when really I'm three people. Josh said if I make dinner he will consider us even because he can't cook to save his life and every time I've cooked food he's liked it. When I explained about being worried they would want something more expensive than we can afford and that will be like, in a less-safe area than Josh is comfortable with his mom said that safety is really important and they're perfectly fine paying more money for a safer place.

Originally my sisters and I were just going to get a one-bedroom place and one of us (probably me) would sleep on the couch. I can't believe now we're considering a two bedroom place. I can't believe I'm going to live with a boy. Danielle is just excited at the idea of so much closet space. Aunt Elaine has tons of stuff in the linen closet that never gets used but she refuses to throw any of it out. So we have piles of clothes in our room on top of newspaper on the floor and our closet is crammed. It will be nice to spread out. Josh won't take up that much room because he can leave almost all his stuff except clothes at his parent's house.

I am really scared about living with a boy, even though it's Josh. What if we get in a fight and I want to go home? What if he does gross boy things? What if we get in a huge fight and break up and then we're stuck living together? What if it's weird with him being home alone with my sisters while I'm working? I am so scared I want to cry.

Tomorrow I see Craig. Thank god.

I got in trouble without even being there

The AP called me at home today. To tell me I wasn't at school. As if I didn't know. I was really nice though, and didn't say "duh" to him like I wanted to. He told me I've been out for three consecutive days. That you have to actually show up at school to get the education it affords.

He said he has eagerly been waiting to see me since Monday. I was really nice though, and didn't say "I don't date way older married dudes" to him like I wanted to.

It turns out he took all my English essays and my notebook and gave it to another English teacher. The one who used to be a priest and is gay. That guy graded all my stuff. He gave my notebook an A-. From now on, all my assignments will come from my English teacher but I'm to hand them in to the gay priest teacher to be graded. I was really nice, and said "Thank you, I really appreciate this." I told him if he ever decides to go back to college I will be happy to write him a letter of recommendation.

House of Sickness

Aunt Elaine eats all her food either in bed or in her tv chair in the living room. Since the very first day we moved in with her she has insisted we can only eat at the table, no matter what. We're not even supposed to eat in the kitchen (we do, standing over the sink). Alex and I are both pretty neat and Danielle is like medium messy but she's good about cleaning up after herself, so it all balances out.

We have a list of stuff we want to do when we move out and eating in front of the tv is on there. Even if one of us is too sick to come sit at the table Aunt Elaine says that's too bad - no eating in our bedroom.

This morning Danielle and I were awake when we realized the tv wasn't on. Danielle peaked out and reported back that Aunt Elaine was in her room with the door closed. The tv was off. This NEVER happens when we're home. She is always in the tv chair and holding the remote control - we always just watch whatever she is watching.

We woke Alex up and ran into the living room to watch tv. Danielle went over to the tv chair to take the remote and started laughing hysterically. She made us get off the couch to go look.

Aunt Elaine's tv chair is TOTALLY COVERED in crumbs. Tons and tons of them. Alex couldn't believe it. "But her fatness covers the whole chair! How can any crumbs sneak through the fatness to even reach the chair?" Maybe Aunt Elaine should be eating at the table too.

Diseased

I wasn't feeling so good last week. Neither was Alex. We both had fever. My body feels just ... wrong, and my chest hurt. Alex kept saying her throat hurt and scratching her hands. Neither of us were hungry. Yesterday morning Alex and I went to the walk-in clinic. After we picked up some extra germs in the waiting room for an hour and a half they called Alex's name.

We both have hand, foot and mouth disease. The doctor left us in the room to go get another doctor to give a second opinion. She said it's the wrong season to have this and we can just take something for the fever, but there's no medicine. On the way home Alex told me her feet had been itching too, but she hadn't said anything because she didn't want to get told she had athlete's foot or something else gross.

Know where Danielle was while we were at the doctor? Working! Touching bagels all morning! You know she probably has it too, and now just gave it to several hundred people.

We are not going to our dinner tonight. Josh came over and dropped off soup, a banana pie, and a bunch of magazines.

Late night update - Danielle did my shift at the diner and when she came home she said her hands felt funny, then she went straight to sleep and didn't eat dinner. I guess we're all staying home tomorrow. Aunt Elaine is going to be so excited.

Mazel tov

Alex got invited to a boy's 13th birthday bar mitzvah. I didn't think they were really good friends or anything - all she's ever said about him is that when he walks by he pats her on the head. She cried when I told her she can't go, but we have spent over $100 lately on the stupid college applications. Somebody told me today that you have to pay to rent a cap and gown for graduation so next time the AP and I talk, I am going to ask if you can graduate without going to the graduation because then we wouldn't have to pay out that money. People charge money for every little thing.

Alex tried crying to Aunt Elaine all night begging her to say she could go to the party. Aunt Elaine was like, "if you want to go, then go." Except Alex doesn't have a dress or enough money to get a present. She has a denim skirt and two summer dresses that are not really weather appropriate or covering-her-ass appropriate. I think this summer she will have to wear the dresses as shirts.

So now she hates me for saying no. After Alex had already gone to bed and cried herself to sleep I went into our room to look for something and she'd flipped over my bed and kicked all my piles of clean clothes into a big mess. What a little shit.

So my friend Ruthie got into Syracuse

Yay for her. That was her reach school, and she's totally stoked. The fewest schools anyone has applied to is five. I applied at two and don't really give a flying fuck if you want fries with that.

AP was out yesterday. Today he was too busy to talk to me so I got my friend to let me borrow her notebook and I left mine and hers with a note saying, "Please look at our very different grades. ???" Except I retardedly misspelled a word and didn't realize it until later. It is very unsettling to walk up to your locker and have the AP leaning against it, especially when your friends joke around and start screaming that you should have hidden your crack in a more creative place than your locker.

Anyway he said the office lady is tired of my face and he is tired of my constant complaining. Tomorrow I'm supposed to bring in all my essays from last quarter and this quarter and drop them off before 1st period. I don't know what's going on.

Also I told him neither of my schools have gotten back to me and asked if he thought it would be a good idea to call. He said we can revisit it at the end of next week. It really felt like he is tired of me and doesn't want to deal with me anymore.

Tonight at work I got a splinter in my finger. I can't get it out. I am sure it will wind up infecting my finger and an amputation will become the only solution. I hate my life.

Where's my senioritis?

This is officially spring of my senior year of high school and my life totally sucks. Here is a list of why:

1. Everyone else is getting acceptances to their schools, like every day. I haven't gotten in to either school I applied to.

2. My english teacher collected our notebooks on Friday to grade our notes. On Wednesday two friends asked to borrow my notebook to copy my notes so they could turn in complete notebooks. One got a grade of B+, the other got an A-. I got an F. One of the requirements of graduation is four years of english. She is going to fail me and I'm not going to graduate.

3. Originally we were going to move out at like the end of August, like a week before my college (the one I didn't get into) started. Over the weekend Aunt Elaine started saying she wants us gone by the last day of school at the end of June. I freaked out and we had a big fight. Now she is saying we absolutely must be out by July 4th. I can't believe she's going to make me pay two months of rent by myself. Totally freaking out.

4. Josh can never come here. Most of the time if we hang out at his house, his parents are around. So he is totally excited for next year and wants to live together. I told him my sisters don't want to. Plus, he is one person, and I am three people, so I'd have to pay more rent than he would, and he will want to live in a much nicer place than I can afford. So like almost every time we are together, this whole thing keeps coming up.

5. Everyone is wearing really long dresses, like gowns, with very deep V's to prom. I am wearing the same dress I wore last year. It has a sweetheart neckline and used to come to right above my knees but I grew, so now it's even shorter.

6. I haven't told Danielle yet because I really don't want it to be true but really, I am sick. My chest hurt so much it woke me up in the middle of the night.

7. The cliches are true and some people are getting boob implants for graduation. I'm getting thrown out for graduation.

8. I totally hate my life right now.

Officially Freaking Out

People are getting their acceptances. They're rolling in. Every day you hear that another person got into another school. I screwed up. Like royally. I should have applied to more schools. Seriously freaking out that I won't have gotten in at either college and will have to become a garbage man and join a union and it will go on strike and I will wind up living on garbage-filled streets.

There was a thing where you could go to one of the schools and get a tour and talk to an admissions counselor but I had to work that day so I didn't go. Maybe that was a huge mistake too. Maybe everyone who went got to like plead their case and all those people are going to get acceptances and I'm not. I haven't slept in three nights.

What can I get you?

What if I don't get into a college? Do I become a waitress? Do I have to buy those ugly shoes?

Nickelodeon's Kids Choice Awards

This is the grossest thing. Chris Brown, you know, the guy who beat the shit out of his famous girlfriend Rihanna? He's nominated for a kids choice award!

His nomination should have been revoked.

Dear Leigh Ann Brodsky, President of Nickelodeon,

You SUCK! No thanks to you, my little sister is not dumb enough to think that just because you endorse a famous person it means they are a good person. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Thank you for including which college you went to so I can make sure not to get educated there. I can't believe you have two kids! If they are girls, why are you teaching them that boys who beat the shit out of girls should be able to do that and not have anything bad happen to them?

You might say "Well, the courts will punish him if they think he should be punished," but what about the whole idea of a person's reputation? Isn't that why we're not supposed to sext our boyfriends? To protect our reputation? Wouldn't you be upset if your daughters decided to date him? Wouldn't you tell them not to because he has a history of beating up past girlfriends? Oh wait, she took him back so she's a current girlfriend. Wouldn't you be scared for them if they were dating a guy who had a past of being physically abusive?

Maybe you have sons. What do you think this teaches them? Don't worry, you can wreck your girlfriend's face so much that she has to go to the hospital - it won't affect your life at ALL.

We already don't watch Nickelodeon, but if we did, we would totally stop.

Please don't ever let this happen to me

A waitress at work tonight got her period. Someone had to point it out to her. Everyone saw. The pricky manager was working and he wouldn't let her go home or take a break. She almost cried. I feel so bad for her.

Museum Sleepover

Alex is friends with this girl Maxwell in 6th grade who has a little sister in 3rd grade. She knows her from camp. I met her like once and that's it. I didn't think they were really that good friends. It's not like they're ever on the phone or anything.

But while Alex was sick Maxwell called to say her little sister was having a birthday party, she was allowed to invite one friend and did Alex want to come to the sleepover. So like of course Alex said yes. Aunt Elaine heard and was all "How are you going to go make other people sick?" Pot, kettle.

Thursday Maxwell's mother calls and is telling me that Alex has to bring a sleeping bag and a pillow and a flashlight and I was like wtf? we don't have sleeping bags. It turns out Maxwell is an idiot because she never told Alex the sleepover is at the CMOM and not at their house. That's the shitty thing about fancy stuff - it always means complications like owning a sleeping bag.

Danielle told Alex to just take her blanket, fold it in half and sleep in between the halves and Alex totally burst into tears and was crying and screaming that she'd look dumb and be the only one without a stupid sleeping bag.

I will spare you the details but we spent about an hour screaming at Alex with her screaming at us. Either just take your blanket or don't go. Those were the only two choices. Since it was already ONE day away from the party it wasn't like we had time to call friends who were the types to have camping equipment and see if we could borrow. It was totally pathetic because Alex would have to stop yelling each time her throat hurt too much and she kept saying time out to go get more water as she lost her voice over and over.

Alex wound up going and taking her blanket and pillow. She told Danielle she was the only one there without a sleeping bag OR a flashlight, everybody looked at her funny, she dropped her pillow on the train (GROSS) and tried to make us feel bad for her. Except we didn't because hello she got to sleep over at a fucking museum. And the mother sent her home with two goody bags that she said were extra when Alex isn't even friends with the birthday girl. But maybe it's some rule like whoever gives a present gets a goody bag? I don't know.

But you know the whole "beggars can't be choosers" thing? Can I just be choosey for a minute? We all know Alex got two goody bags because the mother realized Alex is poor, right? Okay so when somebody is poor, please don't give them tons of candy! It's not like we can afford to go to the dentist if we get cavaties from that candy.

I made a big deal of putting the candy on the kitchen counter and talking about it so Aunt Elaine will see it. Maybe she'll eat it all, get diabetes and need her head amputated.

The Anonymous Questions

- you go in and out over and over when you're a hostess because there's not enough space for everyone to wait inside so you're inside taking check payments and seating people but when you call someone's name if nobody comes forward then you have to go outside to see if they're waiting out there. Plus they might be waiting outside to smoke since you can't smoke in the diner.

- yeah we filed taxes and got refund money. Danielle asked me if instead of keeping all our money for each of us separate if we should pool it all and instead just put it towards whoever needs it first. Alex agreed with her and said we should do that. I pointed out that if we do that it might mean there not being any money left over for when Alex is ready for college. Pessimist. It's one of Al's vocabulary words that she learned recently and called me one today. But what if she changes her mind four or five years from now, when it's too late?

- I don't think it counts as child abuse to smoke in a house with kids. The corner drugstore delivers, not CVS. Aunt Elaine gets her cigarettes by ordering by phone a bunch of things at the drugstore and also ordering a carton too. As long as someone over 18 answers the door, they'll give them. But if you tip them they'll give them to someone younger.

Don't Stop

My throat started hurting when I got to work. Headache that won't quit. Josh suggested that despite how much I like my hostess job maybe going from inside to outside back and forth is not the best idea for my health. Guess the freezing cold to blasting heat isn't good.

At work I ate a toasted english muffin with jelly on it for dinner. Then I took half a melon home and we cut it up and Dani wanted to eat it as dessert but I talked her into saving it for breakfast.

Dani wants me to get a job at Old Navy for the discount. I am thinking about it for after we start college. The free food is more important than discounted clothes.

Tomorrow there is a huge test in government. I barely spell the word right so it's not looking good for a decent grade on the test. Hopefully there are more multiple choice and less essay questions.

After school I have to buy eggs. We haven't had any since the week before last and Alex asks for eggs each day. I don't have a coupon. You can't steal eggs - they're too big and too breakable.

It's Definite

Alex is totally sick. She hacked up stuff today and has fever. I am so relieved it's not Danielle who is sick because nothing Obama is doing is helping us and we need her job.

Alex has a social studies paper due tomorrow that she did most of the work for over the weekend. Danielle helped her put it together in the right order and I typed it for her. I don't think Alex can go to school tomorrow but just in case it's ready.

That's just retarded of me. There's no way she'll be better enough for school. I guess I'll wake her up to email it in the morning. This will seem mean but we shoved her mattress away from us in the hopes we won't catch what she's got.

The mean cook at the diner who is secretly nice made me a strawberry parfait tonight. It was really good. I didn't bring any home to share.

Unwell Endings

Alex called me from her friend's house. She didn't feel good and wanted to come home. She said the pizza tasted funny.

Danielle picked her up at our subway stop and on their walk home Alex leaned against a building and cried. I don't know if the pizza was bad and made Alex sick, or it tasted bad to her because she's sick. All I do know is she spent the rest of the afternoon and night in bed either crying, sleeping or looking pitiful. Dani gave her rye toast with jelly on it and Alex ate less than half.

How come any time we get sick it's always a long, drawn out illness that takes at least a week to recover from? How come we never magically bounce back after sleeping it off?

I hope Dani and I don't catch whatever Alex has.

The end.

Snow Day

We got so much snow that school is closed. That never happens. As soon as I found out I called the diner to see about working more hours today but they don't need me. :(

Aunt Elaine didn't want to hear it. She feels like school hours are when we should be gone, so she wants us gone no matter if there is a snow day. Just like she decided we should not make any noise in the mornings or after 8pm. Eight o'clock is the time Aunt Elaine decided should be our bedtime when we moved in with her. Even though there's a six-year spread between me and Alex. Even though our mother never made us go to bed before 9pm.

Alex got invited to a 7th grade friend's house for today - the girl's dad stayed home from work today and said he'd take them to get a bunch of movies to watch at home. I am so happy she is making nice friends in 7th grade.

We left early to get to the girl's house, in case streets weren't plowed yet. Almost nobody was outside, and I am really glad we went food shopping Saturday and are all stocked up for the week. While we were walking to the subway there was a man peeing in the snow. He saw us and asked if we wanted to taste the snow and then laughed. I have something even better you can taste.

This was the first time Alex really got what it meant. "I am 11!" she shouted at him. Time you learned then. So gross. Why do grownup men think it's funny to be gross to girls?